Little black book and deepika

Little black book and deepika

 Hi I'm Deepika Padukone, I'm an actor, producer and philanthropist. I'll be opening up my little black book and bringing you into my world. so you don't miss an episode. So first stop, we're gonna talk about mental health because that is a topic that's very, very close to my heart and something that I've been working on very, very actively in that last couple of years. 

 And that's because I experienced anxiety and depression in 2014. So I've seen it up close and personal and I probably define it as the worst experience of my life. I think a huge part of my little black book is my mother, so we live in different cities, so they visit me every now and then. 

 And on one such visit, I remember it was time for her to pack her bags and leave and she was, you know, ready to go to the airport. And I was sitting in her room watching her, just sort of, packing and putting her things together when I suddenly broke down. And to her it seemed strange because, you know, we sort of go through this saying goodbye to each other every few months, pretty often. 

 And of course she asked me the routine questions about, you know, is everything okay at work? Was it a relationship issue? I feel like as a mother she needed to ask me those questions but I think somewhere deep down inside she knew that it wasn't the usual sort of crying, it was different.

 Whenever I've not been okay, I always feel like I want to keep that away from my parents because they live away from me and I feel like they'd worry. So I hadn't told them about feeling this way for a while and then she caught this moment. 

 But today when I look back, I'm so grateful for that moment because she was the one who called it and she immediately realized that I needed professional help. And that's when Anna Chandy and Dr. Shyam, the reason I am able to run this foundation today is because of their passion and enthusiasm and both are a very integral part of my life and my little black book. 

 Yeah, I think waking up was tough because I didn't want to face a day. When the doctor said that this is clinical depression, I felt like I already started feeling much better versus the times when I didn't know what was happening to me. 

 I remember those moments being a struggle, not knowing. 2014, post the experience, and post coming out with my experience with the depression, I also felt like I didn't want to stop there, I felt like I wanted to give back and I wanted to help people. And so, for me, coming out and speaking out openly was to sort of help people understand what depression is because you don't really see very obvious physical signs or symptoms, unlike certain other illnesses.  

And I felt like by coming out and sharing my experience with the world, if I could help even one life, I felt like the purpose would be served. That's when we set up the Live, Love, Laugh foundation. It's been more than three years since we set up the foundation. 

 I feel every single day for everything that I have in my life, if there's one thing that feels the most rewarding or the one thing that I'm most grateful for is the fact that I've been able to speak out. But through the foundation, also, be positively able to impact peoples lives. (piano music) I'm not ashamed. I think if there's one thing that anxiety and depression has taught me is self awareness. 

 And while I'd like to believe that I've always been pretty aware of my feelings and emotions, I feel like this experience sort of just amplified that for me. I often feel like, and women especially, feel like when they take care of themselves or take time out for themselves, it often comes with an element of guilt.

 And I feel like that's the one thing I stopped doing. I feel like if I want to rest, if I want a massage, if I want to sleep, I've started enjoying those moments without the guilt. 

 And I think self care is the one thing that has really helped me on this journey, you know, to recovery. 

 You know, it works differently for different people so I think it's really about listening to yourself and finding your own inner balance.